just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
