using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize