Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
