How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
