I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
