You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
