We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
