So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
