You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
