if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize