New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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