sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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