Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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