Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
