Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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