You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
