So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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