i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
