Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Found your dick twin last night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
