i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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