you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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