My liver just broke up with me...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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