Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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