He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
