And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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