kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
