First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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