the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
