My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
pray to the hookup gods
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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