Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
