I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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