every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
