I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
