Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
