I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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