I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
