the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He has the fingertips of a God
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