girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
