He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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