This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
