I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
