ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize