So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
