i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
