i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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