and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
