My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
