I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
