yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
