i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
