I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
