you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize