Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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