wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
