i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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