I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
