I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
