we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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