Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize