I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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