i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
