sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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