You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
