ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
