hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
