yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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