I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
