the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
