ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
