just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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