She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize