Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
