She's JV to your varsity
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You've changed since you got that strap on
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize