There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize