you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize