It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
