my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
