Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The air taste purple.
Randomize